Shreveport Awards $100 Million Bridge Repair Contract To Guy With Shovel and Can-Do Attitude

Kip Fielding Crayfish

Years after converting into a Barn Swallow nature reserve, the Jimmie Davis bridge is now scheduled to have desperately-needed restoration work done in the next few months. The City of Shreveport has officially awarded Some Guy with a construction contract to the tune of $100 million, as chosen by a 4-person shadow committee.

“He is our last option,” explained committee member Curly Howard, “Do we know this will work? Nope. Should we find another option? Probably. But fuck it, it’s not my money. Let’s just see what happens.”