New study finds Shreveport #1 city to live, start a business, grow old and die in

Kip Fielding Crayfish Comments

A new study has recently been released that shows Shreveport is among the top cities in the United States. According to researchers, Shreveport ranks number one in metrics across the board, including education, health, bees, fitness, happiness, sadness, economy, traffic cones per capita, Tinder matches and floods.

“I knew all those other studies were just fake news,” said local citizen Debra Cullington, “There’s no way a city with two – TWO – Gucci-sponsored grocery stores could really be that bad.”

Researchers promise the data is “rock solid” and that you should probably stay in your lane if you think otherwise.