SHREVEPORT, LA. – A special Shreveport committee voted unanimously to make it now a punishable offense to kneel during one of Shreveport most recognized anthems, The Diesel Driving Academy Jingle.
“This is a huge step in ensuring the things we hold sacred stay sacred, “Mayor Ollie Tyler explained in a 9-hour speech introducing the new ordinance, “I for one have grown tired of the blatant disrespect this society has grown to show, only to call it not disrespectful. People seem to have forgotten that when you can drive a truck, you got a job, my friend.”
The new law will go into effect almost immediately and has even wider-reaching ramifications than the Diesel Driving Academy jingle. It also outlaws kneeling during the following:
– Kenny Wayne Shepherd’s “Blue on Black”
– Louisiana Saturday Night
– Master P’s “How You Do Dat”, but only the verse that mentions Shreveport specifically.
– Kneeling allowed during Juvenile’s “Back That Azz Up”, but only if the suspect is kneeling to get into a twerking position.
At press time, the fine levied for kneeling during the Diesel Driving Academy song was $18005518900