SHREVEPORT, LA. – A popular Shreveport bakery allegedly called Julie Anne’s has decided to leap in from out of nowhere and knock out a new cookie cake that is probably in no way related to something that may or may not have happened in a local restaurant that may also allegedly be popularly known as “Superior”.
“We needed to jump on this incident from our dinner table and come out swinging in what’s probably an Affliction hoodie, as the old saying goes,” Julie Anne’s representative maybe stated. “We want everyone to know that our cake is to be shared, and that’s why we’re releasing this new flavor and asking everyone to share it. Although we respect the athleticism it takes to jump from a wobbly restaurant table without spilling precious yet over-priced margs, safely clear two innocent bystanders and effectively hit your cake-thieving perpetrator, we DO NOT condone violence over our cookie cakes. So please join us in sharing #APieceForPeace.”
Julie Anne’s came under fire when several witnesses to the fight claimed that the bakery had made the cookie cake so good that it was impossible to share. “Look, I was sitting at the cookie cake table,” an unnamed patron explained to us, “and lemme tell ya, I’d have died for that cookie cake it was so damn good. We didn’t ask for them to make it THAT awesome. Not our fault!”
Julie Anne’s has declined to comment on whether they purposely made previous cookie cakes so good they’d be consider worth fighting in public over, but a full-on investigation into their cookie cakes is underway.