SHREVEPORT, La. – First United Methodist pastor Dan Night is still feeling pretty giddy a day after absolutely nailing an April Fool’s joke on his congregation, both faking out his usual Sunday morning crowd and the visitors there to celebrate Easter.
Dr. Night took the stage yesterday at the downtown church’s early morning sermon and totally psyched out everyone by saying, “I got some terrible news folks; turns out Jesus never came back. All of our sins aren’t forgiven after all. We’re all doomed to suffer in Hell.” Dr. Night then let the crowd sit in complete shock for the perfect four-second amount of time before shouting “April Fool’s!” to inform them that it was all just an elaborate prank, relishing in the subsequent forced laughter and gentle applause from five old ladies on the front row.
“I had this one in the works for the past six weeks,” said Night, “I must’ve called in my music minister a half dozen times to work on the wording and timing- you know how them music types know about timing. I’m still feeling my heart pounding from all the suspense.”
The crowd in attendance was ultimately a good sport, with many saying they appreciate their spiritual leader having a sense of humor. Others said they totally fell for it, and were half expecting to hear that their pastor had converted to Satanism. “I was literally one second away from starting a riot down Texas Street,” said Walter Rivers, 72, “but then he told us it was a joke and I put that Molotov cocktail back in my pocket.”
Dr. Night is reportedly already working on other pranks to pull on his congregation. Details are still in the works, but sources say the reverend is reportedly trying to work 100 packs of extra strength Dulcolax into the church’s April budget.