SHREVEPORT, La. – In 2015, many conversations over Superior margaritas sparked rumors that the popular Real Housewives of television series would have a Shreveport incarnation. “I think reality TV and the internet will eventually destroy our society, but I would gladly watch Kim Kolciak slowly turn into a sack of botox until the day I die,” says local Real Housewives of Atlanta fan Brooke Stills. “Nene is my favorite though, my camera roll is mostly GIFs of her cutting up. It’s a riot. Could you imagine a Shreveport version?”
These rumors were surprisingly true, as the buzz led to filmmakers assembling a cast from across Shreveport to represent their respective areas of town. The cast already seemed to have some rivalries brewing that excited fans about the possibilities of televised, local drama. “Britni with an ‘I’ from South Highlands was upset with Britney with a ‘Y’ from Broadmoor after she stole one of her Lularoe referrals,” says RHOS producer Kyle Hunt. “Then we had Amber from Southern Hills giving Trisha from Queensborough’s husband a lap dance in the Shreve City parking lot. The whole show was poised for fireworks that we will unfortunately never see.”
Details have slowly emerged explaining the show’s abrupt cancellation. “Most of the footage we have right consists on the cast looking for online nursing schools and looking for new houses in Benton and Stonewall. Britni with an ‘I’ spent nearly 7 hours a day at Rhino Coffee. Not exactly as exciting as we thought it could have been. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise,” says Hunt.
Surprisingly, every cast member uprooted their families in Shreveport and made the trek south to Stonewall. “I, like, just went to the website and thought, ‘oh my god, this town is adorable, why can’t we live here? Then I remembered I’m an adult and I can,'” says Britney with a ‘Y’ shaking her fists in celebration. “Lucky for us, we have 22 friends who are real estate agents that share their pages non-stop on Facebook, and we were able to sell! Sometimes it pays to have people in high places.”
Stonewall says they are excited about the addition of the half dozen Real Housewives cast, but worries that it may come with some new challenges. “This is a lot of people coming in at once and, I’m going to be real honest, that terrifies me,” says long-time Stonewall resident Ben Givens. “I told my wife that if Stonewall ever gets its own Wal-Mart that we are packing our shit and leaving. This feels like it’s just bringing us one step closer.”