Officials Prepare Barksdale Bubble for Tonight’s Colossal Winter Weather Face-Off

Dax LaCray Lifestyle 0 Comments

BARKSDALE AFB, La. – By now, most residents have been pleased to hear Ron Young’s velvety prediction that Shreveport/Bossier is likely to get some winter weather tonight and tomorrow morning, likely rendering the area even less productive than usual. “I spent several hours out at Wal-Mart buying cartons of cigarettes and Zapp’s waitin’ for the big storm. When the weatherman said it was goin’ to snow, I got my ass into gear to get the essentials. In the cold, you need lots of carbs,” one Shreveport man says holding up a bag of Zapp’s Spicy Cajun Crawtators.

However, many residents are not convinced that winter weather will have any impact, due to a very specific phenomenon. “I read Jay Whatley’s article on the Bubble every day this winter and I tell ya, that goofy son -of-a-gun is on to something. [The Barksdale Bubble] ain’t just guard against rain neither. I reckon that gizmo can handle sleet, snow, hail, it don’t matter,” one man wearing cargo shorts tells The Crayfish.

Public perception on local weather is centered largely on the belief that there is a ‘Barksdale Bubble’ shielding us from serious precipitation while surrounding areas experience much more throughout the year. Barksdale AFB officials are well aware of the expectations and recognize that outside of the Air Show, the Barksdale Bubble is the most public display of the Air Force’s abilities. We sat down with Air Force Colonel Dick Kuntz, commander of Snow & Hail Intercept Team Command (SHITCOM), the winter division of the Air Force’s weather controlling apparatus, about tonight’s wintry weather. “In the last five years, my team here at SHITCOM have met every challenge with professionalism and efficiency. All winter weather we’ve successfully diverted to Alexandria without much problem. We are the most reliable unit in the military, and we are damn proud of it,” says Colonel Kuntz.

“If you live in Caddo or Bossier Parish, you can bet your sweet ass you’ll be sitting pretty, without snow. If you’re in Webster Parish, then tough shit, cupcake, that’s not in my jurisdiction. Have fun skating to work tomorrow,” finishes Colonel Kuntz angrily.

The winter weather is expected to last through the night and into the morning for the area. We will keep you updated of all developments.

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