Local Football Fans Scramble to Find Replacement Hobby as Teams Lose

Dax LaCray Crayfish, Sports 0 Comments

SHREVEPORT, La. – After the weekend’s unprecedented LSU loss to Mississippi State, sloppy play by the Dallas Cowboys, and the New Orleans Saints’ latest loss on Sunday, local football fans have found a new way to occupy their weekends. We heard from a few of them on the new hobby they’re taking up.

“Yeah, we’ve decided to just meet up about game time each week and kick each other directly in the nuts for 3 hours from now on,” local football fans told us.

BillyBob Perdeaux has been a Saints fan since the early 80s. “Other than a couple of seasons, this has been nothing but heartache and pain. Actually looking forward to my buddy Mike coming over to the house, opening a brew, and kicking my testicles punter-style. After what I’ve been through it bein’ a WhoDat, doesn’t seem as bad.”

Frank Dribber, a Cowboys fan since 1992, stated, “Being a Cowboys fan was great at first. The Triplets, the Super Bowls… it was unbelievable. But ever since then, I just feel like I’m part of some elaborate prank by Jerry Jones. So Sunday, after church, BillyBob has offered to come over and treat my balls like Dan Bailey. Even promised to wear cleats. Definitely looking forward to this over the game. ”

Mike Cargins added, “LSU has been a part of me since I was a kid. Kickoff against Syracuse is at 6 PM this Saturday, but I’ve got a little kickoff of my own planned – for my balls. Definitely looking forward to it over watching LSU underperform and not cover the spread yet again.”

At print time, there was no word as to how quickly the new hobby was catching on among area fans. 

Have you picked up a new hobby?

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