The Crayfish News

"I thought it was funny...", explained local dad Colton Bearson, before lacing up his white New Balances and mowing the yard. ...

A new study has recently been released that shows Shreveport is among the top cities in the United States. According to researchers, Shreveport ranks number one in metrics across the board, including education, health, bees, fitness, happiness, sadness, economy,...

Starting in 2020, those visiting Downtown Shreveport can redistribute their wealth at the hottest new deal of the decade. Every Man A King Distillery, themed after the far-left Democratic Former Governor Huey P. Long and his novel socialist policies, is...

SHREVEPORT, LA - Archaeologists made a groundbreaking discovery Tuesday morning when a local construction company broke ground on a new bank, uncovering a Crawfish Palace commercial old enough to change the history books. The commercial has been carbon dated to...

Shreveport, LA - The past two weekends, as you were perusing the sport channels and cracking open a tall, cool Budweiser, you may have noticed scores for the new Alliance of American Football (AAF). Fans of the old USFL will...

SHREVEPORT, LA - Only a few months since being elected mayor of Shreveport, Adrian Perkins has scheduled his first visit to the city to check on how things are going since he was elected. Perkins is a graduate of Harvard AND...

SHREVEPORT, LA - Less than a day after announcing the “Clean City User Fee”, Mayor Adrian Perkins announced a premium-package trash pick-up service would be available as well to Shreveporters. Perhaps attempting to win over more support in Southern Trace and...

SHREVEPORT, LA. - On Monday, many Shreveport residents were mildly shocked to discover their trash had not been picked up at its normally scheduled time. "I've stood watch here for 8 hours and it's almost midnight. My garbage better get picked...

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SHREVEPORT, LA. - In the past week, the  State Health Department has discovered brain-eating amoebas in the Shreveport drinking water supply. In a press conference on Wednesday, Amoebologists announced the organism has migrated to Shreveport due to a lack of proper...

SHREVEPORT, LA. - Doctors and students at LSU Health Shreveport are overjoyed to learn that the medical school and new healthcare partner Ochsner Health have agreed that the building pictured above could use a few more fucking windows. After weeks of...

City officials were shocked to find all of City Hall on cinder blocks Monday morning, reporting that it's forward momentum had been stolen. Grainy video footage from outdated surveillance cameras the night before revealed very little evidence, save one potential...

SHREVEPORT, LA. - The local-business-destroying behemoth, Wal-Mart, announced Saturday that it is renovating its handicap zones to accommodate areas where citizens may legally resolve issues with violence via “Dueling." In response to issues of violent crime in Shreveport, Shreve City Wal-Mart...

SHREVEPORT, LA. - Waters off the Atlantic Coast are active this week as Hurricane Chris has rapidly strengthened to a Category 2 hurricane. But what had rap fans most excited was a Wednesday morning rap battle between Hurricane Chris – rapper...

SHREVEPORT, LA. - Shreveport residents got a crash course in economics over the weekend as Norton Art Gallery offered tickets to a Harry Potter themed dinner -  Expecto! - in late July. Tickets sold within minutes and scores of would-be wizards...

SHREVEPORT, LA - It’s almost summertime, and business is booming at the Shreveport Aquarium. However, one group of Animal Rights Activists aren’t too happy with the way the marine life is supposedly being treated there. Crayfish was on the scene...

SHREVEPORT, LA. - A special Shreveport committee voted unanimously to make it now a punishable offense to kneel during one of Shreveport most recognized anthems, The Diesel Driving Academy Jingle. “This is a huge step in ensuring the things we hold...

SHREVEPORT, LA. - Earlier today, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention released a statement announcing an epidemic that has infected hundreds in the Shreveport-Bossier City region - Mudbug Madness. Festival plaza has been deemed ground zero for the disease; the...

SHREVEPORT, LA - In an emergency press conference earlier today, Great Raft has formally announced that is merging with the troubled Sci-Port to form the nations first “Astropub”. Following the lead of other large cities such as Austin and Fouke, the...

SHREVEPORT, LA. - Less than a year since the lovable LSUS mascot Ruff the River Monster stole our hearts, the anthropomorphic kudzu creature is once again making headlines. Standing in front of a crowd and local media members, Ruff gesticulated wildly...

SHREVEPORT, LA. - As summer in Shreveport approaches, love is in the air - along with pollen, mosquitoes, and the clap (among others). Doctors in northwest Louisiana are doing all they can to warn sexually active residents about the dangers of...

BATON ROUGE, La. - State legislators voted this morning to defund all of LSU Health Shreveport, in part due to a belief by South Louisiana lawmakers that the medical school is actually in Arkansas instead of Louisiana. The bill was...

SHREVEPORT, LA - "I was born for this, man," says Kevin Spencer, Magnet class of 2003 alum, and owner of an inspection sticker set to expire in June 2019. "I've got 16 months left [on my inspection sticker], but sacrifices...

SHREVEPORT, LA. - In the wake of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg’s highly publicized day before the US Congress, the City of Shreveport called its own meeting with a social media mogul. “We have important questions to ask,” explained Barbara Norton, who does...

SHREVEPORT, LA. - A popular Shreveport bakery allegedly called Julie Anne’s has decided to leap in from out of nowhere and knock out a new cookie cake that is probably in no way related to something that may or may not...

SHREVEPORT, LA. - The current political landscape in this country is increasingly tense. There are protests for a laundry list of social issues and your Facebook feed is full of people arguing that their opposition is wrong complete with 'triggered' memes and calling each...

SHREVEPORT, LA - Bert Kouns has gotten a recent face lift after the popular sporting goods store Academy unveiled a new store near I-49. The area around the store is most known for nondescript business offices a wide expanse of...

SHREVEPORT, La. - First United Methodist pastor Dan Night is still feeling pretty giddy a day after absolutely nailing an April Fool’s joke on his congregation, both faking out his usual Sunday morning crowd and the visitors there to celebrate...

SHREVEPORT, La. - It’s spring break, and teens and adult teens are snapping selfies and drinking profusely in fantastic getaways. There’s one place drunken co-eds are swarming and it’s closer than you would think. Warm beaches? Check. Exotic restaurants? Check....